On my first day in GA, I almost turned into the She Hulk.
Let me explain.
I’d been on the road for 11 hours. So when I got to my destination, all I wanted to do was get food, take a shower and go to bed.
Tell me, do you think that really happened?
You know it didn’t!
I got to my friend’s place and there was a visitor in the house, vacuuming. Let’s call him Ace. I assumed (wrongfully) that Ace was a friend of my host. I went to grab some food assuming (again, wrongfully) that he would be gone when I came back.
But alas I returned! And Ace was still there, still vacuuming. Finally I learned that he was a vacuum salesman!
What? Wait, those still exist?! I’m here to tell you that they do! Despite being tired and hungry, I talked, laughed and joked around with Ace. That’s saying a lot because when I’m tired or hungry – God forbid both – I can be satan’s long lost relative. I’ll spare you the boring details, but here are some of the things that contributed to my almost She Hulk transformation.
-Ace told multiple lies to build a rapport so we would buy the vacuum.
-Ace came in the bedroom where I was eating and interrupted to convince me further.
-Ace’s supervisor showed up. He picked up on the fact that we weren’t buying and left. Ace, however, didn’t.
Ace wouldn’t take no for an answer. But Candace he’s a salesman, that’s what they do. I understand that, but hear me out. It gets worse.
Ace didn’t like me anymore because in his mind I talked my friend out of buying the vacuum. So he lowered the price. $3100, $2500, $1300 and finally $800. Still, no money was being spent that night. And as far as I was concerned, it was about time for the fat lady to sing. I’m much more assertive than my friend, but I was trying to stay out of it.
I really was!
Eventually I told myself, “If I hear Ace say one more thing about a feature on this vacuum, I’m getting out of this bed and getting rid of him.” We’d already been shown the spray paint, sink unclogging and pet grooming features to name a few. So I mentally dared him. Say…one…more…thing.
And he did it! So, I jumped out the bed with the Uncle Ruckus face.
I asked, “Who do I have to call to get you out of here?”
And let me tell you what this fool did next…
Ace turned to my friend and said “I don’t know why she’s even making the decision. It’s not her money and she doesn’t even live here.”
LAWD! My friend jumped in and it was at that moment that I decided to do this…
That’s right. I took his things and started putting them outside. And then I took a pic because I knew it’d make a good story later! By this time it was 9:45 PM and absolutely inappropriate for Ace to still be around.
Ace went outside. I immediately closed and locked the door behind him. Then I heard his supervisor yelling at him. Good. I’m sure the young man learned a valuable lesson in his customer service approach that night.
And that’s the story of Why I Kicked Out the Vacuum Salesman!
Do you think I went too far? Have you ever had to spazz out on an unwelcome visitor?
Until next time..