If you’re single or playing the field then you might be familiar with this scenario…
- Meet someone you’re attracted to
- Spend hours talking and texting
- Start liking this person
- Go out on a date
- Spend more time on the phone
- BOOM: something goes wrong
- This person becomes a stranger again
And then repeat the cycle from top to bottom. Been there honey. I don’t know about you…but personally, after going through this a few times I am exhausted. That’s because I was dating with a purpose. When your desire is more than just a casual fling you put extra effort into getting to know someone and opening up to let them know who you are as well. And who has the energy to keep doing that with different people? “Not I” said the cat!
If that scenario above keeps happening in your life it’s probably time to make some changes.
STOP TELLING EVERYONE ABOUT WHO YOU MEET
When you meet someone you like it’s natural to want to share that with people. But don’t. Call it “jinxing” yourself if you will. But on the practical side – it’s smarter to make sure that you have a situation of substance before spreading the word. People will remember and start asking you how so and so is doing. “After an intense week long love affair, he/she is no longer a part of my life.” Imagine doing this repeatedly. Just pump the brakes baby. When you finally meet the person meant for you they need to be respected by your family and friends. The chances of this happening increases greatly if you don’t get around (no pun intended).
TREASURE ON LOCKDOWN
Speaking of getting around, let’s be upfront here. We’re friends right? Good. I know that our bodies have desires and please handle those in whatever way you choose. Seriously, I go through the drought regularly and sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do! What you do behind closed doors is your choice and your business. However, consider the emotional weight that can come when you’re intimate with multiple people in a short period of time. And lawd the health risks!
PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR INTUITION
When we are in touch with our subconscious, we just know when something doesn’t feel right about a person. A mistake that I’ve repeated in the past is continuing to deal with someone even after my gut told me not to for whatever reason. The longer you date a person who’s not meant to be a part of your future, the more entwined you get and the harder it is to walk away. If you know deep down that they aren’t right – let them go and move on with your life.
BE CLEAR ABOUT YOUR INTENTIONS
Honey we are grown people with busy lives. Who has time to waste? Again…”Not I” said the cat! In my experience it’s best to be up front about what you want from a romantic situation. If you just want something physical with no strings attached – say that. If you want something meaningful – say that. If you cut the guessing game, you cut wasted time, feelings and probably money.
LOOK INTO THE MIRROR
Sometimes it’s us. We can place the blame on other people but there is one common denominator – you. For years it was like I was listening to a broken record because I kept hearing the same thing from different men. “You aren’t into me as much as I’m into you.” “You confuse me.” “I don’t know what you want.” In my young mind I just though those guys were being too sensitive. They weren’t. Without even realizing it I was holding back in a lot of ways that they were picking up on. I had issues ya’ll, which led to me doing this. Sometimes we have to look at ourselves and make changes.
TAKE A BREAK FROM DATING ALTOGETHER
There’s a right time for everything in life. Things don’t always happen when or how we want them or in the way we think they should. Maybe you’re not as ready for a relationship as you think you are.
Are you currently dating? What’s your biggest frustration in finding that one person you can build with?
Until next time…