If you’ve been reading The Quirk Life for awhile, then you might already know that I started seeing a therapist. She’s taught me a lot – like, that I had become so indulgent in my work that I didn’t take much time for myself. But my therapist kept instilling in me that I needed to take better care of myself.
This is a truth that’s over represented in the lives of people that I know. How can we do better?
ACCEPT YOUR FEELINGS
Do you say “I don’t care” instead of admitting that your feelings are hurt? Do you try with all your might to stop that tear from falling down your cheek while watching an emotional chick flick? Yeah…don’t do that. Years of masking my feelings led to me not understanding my emotions. And that led to not understanding what my emotional needs were. I didn’t know how to cheer myself up when I was down or how to keep myself happy.
Don’t let this be you! You’re entitled to feel whatever you feel at any given time. Our life experiences make us process things in our own way. At the end of the day you and you alone are responsible for your emotional well being.
MAKE OTHER PEOPLE AWARE OF YOUR FEELINGS
Those who matter that is. Sometimes we think that it’ll burden other people if they know what’s going on in our mind. Or we feel that we must be strong for everyone else but no one can support us. Or we expect them to be mind readers and just know when something’s wrong – because that’s completely realistic *clearly sarcasm*. Bologna I tell you, bologna! In many ways humans are considered “pack animals” and we need social interaction. A component of this is effective communication about all things including your emotional state.
TAKE BETTER CARE OF YOU
Over the weekend I met a woman who gave me an emotional one on one speech about women and how we dont take care of ourselves enough because we’re always putting our men and children’first. OK, right now my man and children are non existent – but you get my point here. The same can be said for men too but this is a huge issue with us girls. Some ways to take better care of you…
Get a physical check up
Keep your hair and skin moisturized
Stop biting your fingernails
Floss your teeth before bed
These things may seem small right now. But don’t do them for an extended period of time and see how you feel and look…
STAY ON TOP OF THINGS THAT EASILY STRESS YOU
For me – I get stressed when I start spending money that I didn’t budget to spend. It’s a mental hurdle that I need to get over because sometimes things come up and I should just be grateful that I have the extra money to handle them. What stresses you? Paying your bills late? Being late for appointments? Doing school assignments or work projects at the eleventh hour? If you have to procrastinate on any tasks don’t let it be the things that send you on a downward spiral.
TAKE A SHORT VACATION
A weekend getaway can do wonders for the mind. You can visit with a friend so that you won’t have to spend money on a hotel. You can use services like Groupon or Airbnb. I know I often say that I’ll relax at home but the reality is that there’s always something to do around the house whether it’s personal or work related. Rest isn’t just physical it’s definitely mental and getting to an unfamiliar place where you have zero responsibility can quiet your mind tremendously.
REMOVE AS MUCH NEGATIVITY FROM YOUR LIFE AS POSSIBLE
I’ve given some easy ways to do this here. Life already has enough challenges in itself. Renewing your mind and staying on the positive side of the spectrum will help you navigate the not so great times. Getting negative people away from you is a huge part of this. Easier said than done, right? Sometimes it’s a person very close to us that brings us down in the worst way. Again I say, your emotional well being is your responsibility. Some ways I’ve dealt with negative people: choosing to put emotional distance between me and said person, being honest with them about how they’re affecting me, being intentional about understanding WHY they’re so negative and then helping them rise above it if possible.
SEE A THERAPIST OR PSYCHIATRIST
I’m a huge advocate for this since I started taking charge of my mental and emotional health. Talking to a loved one just isn’t the same. Mental health issues are real and you should seek guidance from someone who is trained to help you deal with them if necessary.
I’m just going to say it…self care isn’t all about mani/pedis and Starbucks orders. It means different things to different people. Sure those material things may bring a shallow and very temporary satisfaction but they certainly won’t help you heal or grow.
What are your self care practices or regimens?
Until next time…