So the story goes…I was feeling overwhelmed. It had been over a year since I took a vacation.I started making silly mistakes with my work and feeling like I would cuss someone out over the simplest infraction. Yikes! Well, it turns out this guy I’ve been dating (we’ll call him ViC) was in need of a getaway too!
I’ve only been seeing ViC for a few months but we both agreed that we knew each other well enough to the point that it wouldn’t be “weird” to travel together. I was pleased to handle all the logistics! Neither of us had ever gone out of town with a romantic interest so so here’s what I did to make sure that we had a good experience.
DEFINE A GOOD TIME
If you’re still in the early stages of dating, you might not know all the little things that he enjoys. Before booking any accommodations you should talk about what you each consider fun. What if you love the beach but he hates being out under a hot sun? It’s OK to be flexible to the point of finding a common ground. But don’t agree to a trip that’ll make you miserable just to please him.
DISCUSS BEDTIME ROUTINES
This is if you decide to share a room. We all have things we do to help us wind down after a long day. But we usually don’t stop to think about how these things will affect someone else until…well, until they affect someone else. Do you snore loudly? Does he have to have a fan to sleep well? ViC does. Hearing the weird things that he does before bed may seem frivolous but they can matter!
Misunderstandings over money can ruin a relationship fast, romantic or otherwise. Decide early how expenses will be split on the trip. Sure it’s great if he pays for everything haha, but c’mon you haven’t been dating him that long yet. Whatever you two decide it’s still good practice to have a small spending cushion for extra expenses just in case.
SINGLE OR DOUBLE
Well well, now we’re getting down to the nitty-gritty. This would be a no brainer if you and this new guy have done the “WooHoo” already. We’re all adults on this here blog so physical attraction isn’t something to be ignored. You know what, girl it might be a good idea to go ahead and have sex with him now to see if you even still want the vacation! Kidding…
First class or coach? Bus or rental car? Morning or afternoon arrival time? This alone might tell you a lot about a person before the trip even commences. For example – I prefer to spend more $ on a non stop flight. If my travel partner prefers to save money and accept a layover…they may be too “cheap” for me to have fun with while on the trip.
SHORT & SWEET
Don’t plan a week long vacation for a person you only recently started dating. Just my own personal two cents. You both will be out of your element and learning a ton of new juicy details or quirks about each other. This can go really really good or really really bad! Keep it simple while you’re still getting to know each other and save the extended trips for after you get a good foundation laid together.
HAVE THE CAMERA READY
I feel like once in a lifetime experiences can happen at anytime during vacation. If things go further between you and the guy then you’ll have great memories to look back on. If things don’t work out, you could still wind up with an interesting story! I get shameless with my camera in that I’ll do just about whatever it takes to get the perfect photo! Capture those moments that you won’t ever get back.
KEEP SOMEONE IN THE LOOP
As I’ve mentioned before, at least one person should have all the deets about your trip just in case anything should go down.
None of the things above will matter if you aren’t comfortable around this man. A level of friendship and trust needs to be established before making these kinds of plans. Don’t rush it and don’t force it.
Here are some other things to keep in mind if you want a trip to remember (for positive reasons)…
- There will be mood swings. Let’s not pretend that you both will be sunshine and rainbows the entire trip.
I get really bitchy Some people get moody when they don’t get enough rest. You could eat something that doesn’t agree with your stomach and wind up not feeling good. Be sure to give each other room to express. Remember, you’re still in the dating phase and you’re learning things about this person even on vacation.
- Let’s talk about sex. If you haven’t consummated your courtship, it’s a good idea to bring this up before the trip. I’m a communicator. I try not to ever assume anything. Are either of you expecting sex? Are you okay with taking this step while on vacation?
- Me time is OK. Not everyone will agree with me here but it’s OK to not spend every waking moment with your travel partner. Maybe you need a quick jog before getting your day started or need quiet time to read a book before bed. There’s nothing wrong with this at all, in my opinion. And who knows, he might even need a few moments to himself also!
- Put the phone away. Hopefully the trip will be going so well that you won’t even want to look at your phone. Don’t be rude. Make sure you give him your attention. I know you’ll be looking cute and want to take selfies, but don’t overdo it sis.
- Pay attention. To the little things. Does he offer to carry your suitcase? Is he chatty with strangers or more reserved? What’s his reaction with your hair is no longer on fleek because you went for a swim? These kinds of little things can give big insight to the kind of man you’re dealing with.
I had a great time on my recent trip to North Carolina. We did a weekend visit that included golf and horseback riding. I’d say that the trip was a success, in part, because I did all the things mentioned in this post! Check out my Instagram to see the photos from the trip :-.)
Would you vacation with a man you’ve known for a couple of months? Too soon?
Until next time…