I, Candace McGee am not accepting dates from men my age until further notice. Haha, kidding – or am I? *insert sideways smirk*
And to all the inquiring minds out there, no I don’t have Daddy issues. This trend of being with an older man isn’t something I ever planned to do. But we all know that girls mature faster than boys. Nah forreal. This isn’t even up for debate, k? Anyway in my dating experience of 8 months (not extensive but it’s enough for me to for me to write this post) I’ve realized that men I meet in my age range are rarely on my level mentally, emotionally or financially. So I finally decided to entertain a man that wasn’t in his 20’s…or even early 30’s.
I learned quickly that the stupid manipulations that I was able to get away with before wouldn’t work anymore. Dating an older man is like finally tasting lump crab meat after a lifetime of eating Subway’s Seafood Sensation. This is the real deal! Once you’ve had a taste of the finer things you won’t want to go back to a downgrade. Here’s how older men are different based on what I’ve experienced.
HIS WORLD DOESN’T RESOLVE AROUND ME
many a few moments of self absorption from time to time because hello, I’m used to getting my way. And this type of attitude will not always fly with an older man. In the past, men have made me feel like I’m the center of their world and that’s not the kind of treatment that I need. Remember that time I talked about the “Yes Man“? I’m done with those. With an older man, it’s clear that my presence is desired yet I also know that he has an identity outside of what we have going on.
HIS PRIDE ISN’T AS “LOUD”
Simply put – older men brag different. They don’t care about being on the scene and being the best dressed man in the place. Been there, done that for them. An older man’s pride comes from things like: an established career, financial security and good health. Their sense of pride is muted and it’s commands more respect than a man who practically forces the attention on him so that he can feel important.
Somebody get this man a gold star please. I’m not even joking. Patience is one of the non-negotiables that I need in a partner. Do you know how calming it is to hear “take your time” or “don’t rush” when you’re an anxiety ridden Type A? VERY! Once, I was having tea with a friend and our time together cut into the time I was supposed to spend with my older gentleman. He and I wound up settling for dinner because if it. Here’s what I thought he’d say in a nutshell:
You wasted my time. I’ll see you another day. You’re rude.
Here’s what I got instead…
It’s OK. I know things come up and it sounds like your friend really needed you today.
Oh baby, where have you been all my life?!
HE GIVES GREAT ADVICE
By default older men have more life experience and of course he’ll share the knowledge with you as the lady in his life. I do tend to weigh options in my head for some time before making a final decision (like dating men my age vs older ones). Sometimes too long. I imagine that the Jeopardy thinking music is playing from the soundtrack that is my life. My older gentleman helps me to narrow my focus and come to a final answer.
HE DOESN’T PREACH TO ME
Just because he has experience and gives great advice doesn’t make him a “know it all.” At my age it can feel like we’ve been through enough to know how to navigate life. But we don’t. An older man is likely to understand that you still have to find your way and will let you learn lessons through experience rather than tell you what to do. Instead of saying “I told you so” when you mess up, he’ll just be there with a listening ear when the dust settles.
I know what you’re thinking! You thought I would say that they’re better in bed, didn’t you? We haven’t gotten that far yet. Hold your horses you nasty thing you!
I’ve always been a bit of an old soul so dating a mature man is just my speed. I’m not sure what took me so long to get on board with this!
Do you think age matters at all when it comes to love? If so, what’s your preference?
Until next time…