Is that shallow?
I’m a communicator. It’s a major part of who I am. I’m also an intellect. So when you send me messages like “Wut chu up 2” – notice, no question mark – I begin to form a certain opinion.
It’s summertime! People are looking for flings and have their own way of getting your attention…
- Blasting music in a tricked out ride
- Dressing in revealing clothes
- Using a corny pickup line
- Offering to pump your gas (seriously, try this)
- Wearing heels and tight pants to lift and flaunt the booty
- Just making you laugh (this would be a winner)
Some of these tactics just don’t appeal to me. But you know, I could overlook them. I really don’t want to miss out on what could be a good lasting connection because of someone using an unappealing pick up line.
So let’s exchange numbers. Woo hoo! Now comes the true examination process for me. The way you communicate. You send me a text.
Maybe I’m still stuck in the era that I was born in. I’m not in my early 20’s anymore and I pay attention to things that I didn’t before. I love my iPhone and the ease of text messages. In the dating game, however, that changes. Don’t text me, call me. Why does it matter you ask?
- Anyone can mindlessly send a text. A phone call is personal and intentional. It shows that you actually want to talk to me.
- A call implies that you want my answers in real time. You don’t want a response 10 minutes later via text. You want to know how my day is going right in the moment that you ask the question.
- You want to hear the emotion in my words. You can’t do that through a text.
So you prefer to talk through data instead of voice. Alright, I can overlook that too. However, if you’re going to communicate through texts, please please please make sure that you spell check before hitting that ‘send’ button.
FULL DISCLOSURE: The below screenshots are messages that I recently received from a guy.
Do you see anything wrong with these conversations?
This dude does not proofread – ever.
He wanted to come see me at 10 PM. Seriously? We don’t even know each other’s last names!
I haven’t gone out with this guy and if he happens to come across this blog post, he’ll see why. This really goes beyond a personal preference of voice over text. It’s a thought process that follows. When I think of my future mate I picture someone who is able to represent me well. Meaning I can leave him in the room with my wealthy friends and trust that he’ll carry on a diverse conversation. His English will be proper, he’ll have manners and he’ll be well received. If he can’t even type with proficiency then my faith severely diminishes.
If you’re able to get numbers fairly easy but have trouble with landing an actual date, I’m going to share some things that might help you out.
Tip #1: Spell check. The way that you communicate is very important.
Tip #2: If you won’t follow the tip above, just call.
Tip #3: Make plans in advance. Basically, people are busy. Until you get to know a person, it’s not a good idea to try making ‘day of’ plans with them. It might come across like you don’t have respect for their time or that seeing them was a last minute thought.
Is the way a person communicates important to you? When you meet a person, what are some things that you pay attention to?