Some decisions are easy to make – like taking an exciting new job or buying your dream home. Others are challenging and push you to limits. Thankfully some of the hard decisions that I made have paid off. I often get asked why I did something or how I pulled a task off. It’s not always easy for me to give a step by step because I tend to be very “in the moment” when I’m moving through life. One thing I know without doubt is that when something isn’t working in my favor (job, relationship, whatever) – I change it to put myself in a better position. Here’s a small peek into things I’ve done that have propelled my life.
MOVE TO ATLANTA
I’d lived in Maryland my whole life. And outside of the one year I spent on my own with 2 roommates, I always lived at home. Being surrounded by my immediate family was familiar. It was safe. In 2014 I knew that moving out of state was something that needed to be done. I didn’t know how or where, but in 2015 I made it happen and it was scary. All I had was my car and what would fit in it. When I got to GA I found a cheap motel to stay in and the rest is history. Branching out on my own has taught me a thing or two.
SEEING A THERAPIST
Last summer I had this nagging belief that wouldn’t go away. I believed that I was suffering from mild depression and didn’t know what to do about it. I decided to see a therapist and it was one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. It was hard to have someone challenge me and not tell me what I wanted to hear. I was an emotional wreck because my therapist brought things out of me that I didn’t know were there. Today I’m living a much better life because of what I’ve learned in therapy and I’ll continue to learn things that help me live my best life. Taking the initial step to get professional help can be an intimidating one. Here’s what you can expect at your first appointment.
Yes I was MIA. And this isn’t just with blogging but all over the social networking in general. My mother even called me recently to “make sure I was still alive” because she hadn’t heard from me in awhile. Oops. I’ve been spending a lot of time going over my goals to make sure that the things I’m doing are the things that I should be doing. I’ve also been reflecting/self evaluating and I tend to disappear into the quit when I do that. I believe in quality over quantity and I didn’t want to just share mindless blog posts because it’s not authentic. It was hard to let TQL be dormant but I’m back!
When people hurt my feelings or offended me I used to let them get away with it. I was a people pleaser and that morphed me into a woman who put everyone else’s feelings before my own. That woman is long gone. Confronting people doesn’t make me a bitch. It makes me a person with a voice. It made me understand that conflicts can be addressed and corrected. It keeps me from living with harbored hurt. And it makes people respect me.
LETTING PEOPLE GO
…and confronting people also taught me that some relationships just can’t be saved. Negative energy is draining and counter productive to living a peaceful life. I believe that our connections with people are emotional and spiritual and that these connections indirectly impact us. It may take awhile to see just how unhealthy a relationship is but once you do please deal with it. Believe me, you will be weighed down if you don’t.
DROPPING OUT OF COLLEGE
When I was in college I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to be a writer, then a social worker, then I wanted to open a daycare and at one point I wanted to be a psychiatrist. At that time I wasn’t able to choose the correct path for Candace. My father was paying my college tuition out of pocket and I was wasting his money. I was lost. Dropping out forced me to discover my passion instead of going with the motions because college is just supposed to be the next step. It saved my parents tens of thousands of dollars at least. And yes I’ve always landed great jobs with complete benefits packages and I was blessed enough to start my own writing and editing firm. Education is for everyone. College…isn’t.
You have to answer to yourself at the end of it all. So I urge you not to continue making decisions based on what people around you want. Don’t make them based on what society or statistics say either. You’ll always be blessed when you’re doing what’s meant for you to do.
Until next time…